9 Phrases for Turning down Sex Without Hurting His Ego

6. Say “Some stuff came up at work…” and honestly express to him the reason why you’re not in the mood for sex


“I want us both to be in a good mood when we have sex.” Once he knows the reason you’re not in the mood—in this case, you’ve got worries on your mind—it’s unlikely he will try to initiate sex. Open up to him about your concerns. You don’t have to suffer in silence on your own, and you might feel better after talking things through.